cock hero flux
> climb onto it and ride on its shoulders
> Tell the creature he sounds a little hoarse. Laugh hysterically at your own attempt at comedy
C. Everett Koop
> Impale the staff in the middle of the pentagram and work it like a stripper pole
> Pause briefy to survey the twisted tableau before you, then fart as hard as you fucking can
Hey guys we forgot to get the whip that is coiled and hanging from the wall in the bar:
We'll probably need that at some point.
> Tell the stupid centaur to hold on while we run to the bar to get the whip.
Ron Paul Hype Man
> Say "Oh shit, I forgot the beer" and go back to the bar for it.
TOTAL WRECK - crazy-eyed hound is covered in cobwebs, has a vespiary on back, graffiti on side and savage thirst for boat fuel. Frankly, I'm in over my head. He's in room 115 at Motel 6, yours free. 555-2851
Yes, it's the perfect form for surviving a car crash. But it's also the perfect form for so much more, like surviving the trauma of reading any news headline in 2016.
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