naic posted:

Exit through the door.


contestant posted:

Sing a song to the earth-animal. Be careful not to be bitten!

All hail Xxanthia!
Planet strong with might!
We will go to your planet,

SquirrelPrincess posted:

Put the tiny furry Earthling in your briefcase to take as a gift to Microsoft. It is considered impolite in human culture to go to Microsoft without bearing a small token of goodwill. This would make an excellent gift!


> Drop sandwich

I have placed the small creature in my "brief case".

contestant posted:

Climb the ladder carefully. Press X when in front of ladders to climb!

I have emerged from the underground lair.

whiskas posted:

Walk towards the red dude and ask him how to get to microsoft.

The human replies by presenting a sharp metallic object and demanding my "wallet".

More Comedy Goldmine

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Meditations from a Movable Weiner

    Meditations from a Movable Weiner

    Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.

  • Dog Reviews: The Barquis de Sade & Cleaver Dog Reviews: The Barquis de Sade & Cleaver

    Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.