I mean my god look at this fucking rug. It's about 3'x5' and holy shit does it look good on my floor.
That dragon has 4 god damn arms. It has wheels. And the wheels have wheels. Oh shit it has wings.
It turns into wood halfway down. But before it turns into wood, which I assume is of the finest oak, it has a six pack.
And look at those breasts. My god they're big. Cool scimitar.
Yes it is hand made. No I will not sell it.
Can...can I buy one like it?
No god damn't it's hand made that means there's only one. I have the only copy.
Pretty sweet, did you eat dog food for it?
be nice, he's not a whore. If he ate dog food for the rug, he would be a whore. Eating it in his spare time makes him a HERO.
I won't be eating this rug so stop messaging me.
I bet that rug really ties the room together.
Judging by that rug, I can tell you're a man of taste and refinement and probably have an elaborate security system in place to prevent the theft of that rug. I don't care. Flaunting your prize in such a vulgar manner was a horrible mistake. I'm coming. I'm coming for the rug. You will never sleep soundly again, for even if I fail, there will be others. There will always be others.
What if you were a cop and the Skittle was mentally disturbed and wanted to be eaten?
DOPPELGANGER NEEDED - To minimize stress to my dog, I'm looking for somebody who is identical to me to take over ownership. Must also be able to fool my wife. Call to set up interview. 555-8252
I'll never forgive these giant alien insects! I'm trying!
The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.