SIt DoWn, HiLa tHe KiLLa. ThIs is an intervention.
Submitted by Tanawat L.
HiLa, we NeEd to TaLk.
HiLa, YoUr oWn family WoN't TaLk to yOu because they're ashamed, yOu HaVe no Youtube FaNs aNd ThUs, tHe responsibility fOr setting yOu straight is MiNe. IT's CoMe to my attention ThAt yOu ThINk ThAt SaRAh Silverman, THe Lonely Island aNd Ke$Ha aRe ThREe cultural phenomena ThAt NeEd to be MiXEd.
HiLa, I DoN't KnOw hOw to sAy ThIs, so I'm JuSt GoINg to sAy it: yOu aRe WrONg. HiLa, iT's barely FuNNy WhEn tHe people you're ripping oFf do ThEIr schtick, lEt AlONe yOu. Do yOu really ThINk rapping AbOUt having a YeASt infection is FuNNy? It IsN't aNd everyone listening to YoUr SoNg doesn't ThINK "wOw, WhAt a FuNNy YoUNg LaDy", ThEy ThINk "DaMn, BiTCH PuSSy LoOk LiKe a fukken corned-BeEf sandwich, lOl".
No, HiLa, ThIs IsN't JuSt a PhASe YoU'Re GoINg through. If it wAs, yOu wouldn't HaVe DoNe ThIs "SoNg" LiVe.
YoUNg LaDy, do yOu MiNd explaining ThIs... ThINg we FoUNd UnDEr YoUr bEd? No, nOt tHe XaNAx. I'm talking AbOUt ThIs: a notebook marked "AlBUm CoVEr ideas". THe VeRy FiRSt PaGe? YoUr NaMe spelled WiTh tWo up-turned glocks fOr L's aNd a sketch of YoUr FaCe WiTh NoTEs ThAt ReAd... "pUt 'oNe iLl BiTCh' spelled oUt in photoshopped cUm HeRe" WiTh an ArROw pointing to YoUr sketch's MoUTh.
*SlAPs ShUt BoOk*
HiLa, yOu... LoOk: yOu MaDe YoUr mother cRy. ARe yOu PrOUd of yourself? YOu shouldn't be. ShAMe on yOu, HiLa. ShAMe on yOu.