Tuesday, September 26, 2000 by Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka
1 2 3 4 Next page
Question #7: Touching a beautiful woman makes me think:
"I wish she was mine."
"I am lucky to be close to somebody this magnificent."
"I hope she doesn't mind that my hands are dripping with enough sweat to fill a kiddie pool."
"I'd better get her back to the pimp in 30 minutes or he'll stab me like last time."
Question #8: I am most attracted to a woman's:
Question #9: I refer to "having sex" as:
"Watching Mr. Sparkle enter Miss Nastyhole."
"The event which follows me slipping a roofie into her drink."
Question #10: My most embarrassing moment during sex happened when:
I needed help finding the correct hole.
I climaxed too early.
My parents walked in.
She woke up.
Question #11: The wildest thing I've ever done in bed has been:
Domination / Submission.
Rolling over and discovering my missing complete Star Wars collection set lodged in between my rolls of ass fat.
Question #12: When I climax, I picture an image of:
The woman I'm making love to.
Explosions and fireworks.
My cat, Chester.
Question #12: After sex, I like to:
Smoke a cigarette.
Scrub myself for three hours with a Brillo Pad and boiling hot water while muttering, "oh, the humanity."
Featured articles and columns that don't fit anywhere else on Something Awful.
Copyright ©2013 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.