Question #13: Breaking up with a woman should be:

In a neutral, non-emotional place.
Done in a way that both of you can move on without any emotional scars or baggage.
Two days into the relationship, before she has a chance to mention anything about "commitment."
Only at gunpoint.

Question #14: When my friends ask me why I'm not dating a particular girl anymore, I tell them:

That things "just didn't work out."
The truth.
That she was in fact a woman and anything they heard to the contrary is simply a bunch of lies told by somebody who was really jealous and have no grounding in reality and even if she was a man they can't prove it unless they dated her themselves and if they did that doesn't make them homosexuals so stop trying to infer that I am, okay?
The carnival had to move along to the next town.

Question #15: When I'm on the rebound, I often look for women in:

Dance clubs.
AOL chatrooms.
The bottom of a bottle of Keopectate.

Question #16: I would never date a woman with:

Bad hygiene.
Ugly looks.
More STDs than Tiajuana.
A fully developed "Fight or Flight" reflex.

All done! Now press the "SUBMIT" button and view your scientifically-determined psychological assessment!

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