Question #13: Breaking up with a woman should be:
In a neutral, non-emotional place. Done in a way that both of you can move on without any emotional scars or baggage. Two days into the relationship, before she has a chance to mention anything about "commitment." Only at gunpoint.
Question #14: When my friends ask me why I'm not dating a particular girl anymore, I tell them:
That things "just didn't work out." The truth. That she was in fact a woman and anything they heard to the contrary is simply a bunch of lies told by somebody who was really jealous and have no grounding in reality and even if she was a man they can't prove it unless they dated her themselves and if they did that doesn't make them homosexuals so stop trying to infer that I am, okay? The carnival had to move along to the next town.
Question #15: When I'm on the rebound, I often look for women in:
Bars. Dance clubs. AOL chatrooms. The bottom of a bottle of Keopectate.
Question #16: I would never date a woman with:
Bad hygiene. Ugly looks. More STDs than Tiajuana. A fully developed "Fight or Flight" reflex.
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Idleness grows from heresy Jerry. FROM HERESY!
What do Gary Busey, Master P, Snoop Dogg, and Jeff Speakman have in common? We have no fucking idea.
Look at this cat. Why he do this?
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