Question #7: Touching a beautiful woman makes me think:
"I wish she was mine." "I am lucky to be close to somebody this magnificent." "I hope she doesn't mind that my hands are dripping with enough sweat to fill a kiddie pool." "I'd better get her back to the pimp in 30 minutes or he'll stab me like last time."
Question #8: I am most attracted to a woman's:
Face. Breasts. Legs. Penis.
Question #9: I refer to "having sex" as:
"Making love." "Doing it." "Watching Mr. Sparkle enter Miss Nastyhole." "The event which follows me slipping a roofie into her drink."
Question #10: My most embarrassing moment during sex happened when:
I needed help finding the correct hole. I climaxed too early. My parents walked in. She woke up.
Question #11: The wildest thing I've ever done in bed has been:
Role-playing. Domination / Submission. Group sex. Rolling over and discovering my missing complete Star Wars collection set lodged in between my rolls of ass fat.
Question #12: When I climax, I picture an image of:
The woman I'm making love to. Explosions and fireworks. My cat, Chester. George Jetson.
Question #12: After sex, I like to:
Smoke a cigarette. Cuddle. Break things. Scrub myself for three hours with a Brillo Pad and boiling hot water while muttering, "oh, the humanity."
No one seems to like the new Doom box art. But it's still the same old Doom Guy under that space marine helmet. Right?
happy valentine day if thas cool k?
It's Jeb and George, aka my two wonderful sons, and their adventures!
I can't believe I got the bonus multiplier score for watching the whole fire.
the usual snacks have been replaced by rat poison. a huge axe is precariously hanging over my chair.
Featured articles and columns that don't fit anywhere else on Something Awful.
Copyright ©2016 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.