Ah hah! Our spies see all that transpires in the realm of the celebrity. Behold these fresh dispatches!
 Dennis Rodman
Yesterday @ 12pm
Dude! The Worm! I saw him earlier but forgot virtually every relevant detail! In fact it might not have even been him! Still pretty cool, I guess.
|
 Mel Gibson
Yesterday @ 2pm
Beastly is all I can say. Saw Mel chasing a goose through the park. He chased it into a pond, grabbed it by the neck, and just started biting into the helpless thing. Blood everywhere!
|
 Paris Hilton
Yesterday @ 4pm
Saw the drama queen get into a spat with SNAKE WARZ director Jaume Collet-Serra. From what I overheard she was mad about a scene where she'd have to make out with a giant snake. Would love to be that snake!
|
 Val Kilmer
Yesterday @ 7pm
Val called about 7pm last night trying to get me to sign up for the Albuquerque Journal, but I told him I got all my news from NPR. He seemed genuinely sad and I had to ask if he was "OK." He just hung up on me.
|
 James Franco
Yesterday @ 8pm
Franco's huge head is currently blocking my view of the goddamn sunset. Fuck this guy and fuck his huge head.
|
Olver Platt & Guys and Dolls Cast
Yesterday @ 10pm
Saw the entire cast and crew of Guys and Dolls getting into a single taxi cab near Broadway. WE LOVE YOU, OLIVER PLATT.
|
 Bob Hope
Today @ 2am
Woke up to a strange, ghostly sound. Went into the kitchen and saw a terrifying apparition of Bob Hope warning me to turn off the oven. Sure enough it was on. I have an electric oven, but no sense letting the bill run up.
|
 Zac Efron
Today @ 10am
Ran into Efron. Not so tough! Put him in a headlock, then transitioned into a perfect guillotine choke. He was crying and gasping within seconds. Held on for an extra minute just to show him who's boss. Think he peed himself.
|
 Carl Weathers
Today @ 11am
Saw Carl in Wal-Mart buying some sensible slacks. I asked him if there was ever going to be a Predator spinoff with his character and he just wept like a baby in my arms. I cradled him for several hours.
|
Clive Owen
Today @ 12pm
Spotted Clive looking hella stately walking down the street with a beautiful kite shield in hand. Literally the perfect fashion accessory. Classic, but still hip and modern. Probably offers good defense, too.
|
George Lopez
Today @ 4pm
Sitcom star George Lopez is relaxing on the beach. He's completely naked and sunning himself. Looks good. Everything in the right place. Will try to provide some illustrations later.
|
Wayne Knight
Today @ 7pm
I can't go into detail but I'm seriously inside Wayne Knight's closet right now and he doesn't know it. He's in the room and I think he's about to change clothes. Oh god, if he finds me I'm a goner for sure. I love you, Sandy. Take care of the kids.
|
- Josh "Livestock" Boruff (@Livestock)
Blood in my stool
Two weird issues after replacing my PSU
DC Comics Death Watch: We cope by making up WCW analogies
SQUATTER'S RIGHTS
24" Dell UltraSharp U2412M for $275 or used - like new for $233
You can't be me, I'm a rock star
CM Storm Trigger - Mechanical Gaming Keyboard CHERRY MX BLUE Switches $60AR
Freaking out because I might be about to lose every friend I have
