Flames From Review of Neverwinter Nights

First off, let me explain that it was very difficult to narrow down the number of "prime" emails below 20, as all of them were so magnificent and beautiful in their delusional grandeur. We got flames from the hardcore D&D fans, the hardcore Bioware fans, and the hardcore "let's use our heads as crude tools that may break open locked car doors" fans. I, once again, had too much hope and faith in humanity, mistakenly believing that PC users wouldn't be as stupid as the previous victims of TruthMedia Review gags. When will I ever learn?

NOTE FROM THE EDITOR: Like always, I have decided to include photos of what I imagine the people writing the flames look like. I feel this lends some gravity and meaning to their messages. Also I'm fairly convinced that the police will find Jon Benet Ramsey's killer.

From: Chris Kubik
Subject: Your review of NWN

In 20 years of gaming I've never replied to a review. This review was not a opinion in any sense. This is a misguided person who has no concept of history and no idea of the building blocks of the gaming industry. It's obvious that this person is young, naive and out of touch. The most disturbing portion of his review was the fact that has obviously only been playing computer games for a very very short time.

Diablo Killer?
Mana a standard?
Dungeon Siege?

For a second there I thought this was a joke review. I'm only going to state this very obvious fact. Dungeons and Dragons is the standard. Period. It is the creation on which all RPG games stand on and mana was never used in any portion of that creation. The idea of mana was created for the younger less patient generation, which obviously the reviewer is a part of. I strongly urge your website to consider that giving a opinion requires the person giving the opinion to have some knowledge of history, background and purpose behind a product. This review is a insult to the gaming industry and your website has now earned the name "rookie site".

To the reviewer: Read a book.

Oh damn you, Chris Kubik! You had a meticulous 20 year "no reply" record and then you so casually threw it all away by carelessly sending us an email!! The Guinness Book of World Records will now have to look for another person who has been gaming for the longest amount of time without a single reply to a game review! On a happier note, you just made it into the Big Dope Hall of Fame that all TruthMedia fans fall into once they send us flame mail. I'll just continue to update this "rookie site" while you go back to "ejaculating inside a stuffed Blue's Clues doll."

Next up comes a short but sweet morsel from concerned reader "Russ" who asks the question on all our minds. No, he doesn't ask why the Kansas City Royals paid Chuck Knoblauch $2 million a year to be fat and injured.

From: Russ
Subject: NWN Review

I just finished your 'authors' review of NWN and am wondering when you hired 12 year olds to write your reviews?

Russ.

Why would you ask such a thing, Russ? Are you looking to date somebody your age?

Let's move on to the next literary gem, a letter which once again redefines "comedy" by brutally pouncing on our domain name, "Something Awful," and changing it into a completely unexpected insult! Buckle up your seatbelts because this is going to be a bumpy ride!