I have pretty odd memories of being handed booklets like this in elementary school and finding them tucked away in wooden periodical baskets during trips to the doctor. They were typically printed on cheap paper and featured rust-colored inks, bizarre cartoon characters created just to personify healthy teeth or cancer or drugs, and empirical statements that were presented in a convincing manner whether they made sense or not.
I wanted to use a very specific layout, color, and font for everything and if it hadn't been for Livestock's excellent "Thus Spoke Adventure" update I probably wouldn't have thought to lay it all out in Photoshop then chop it up. He's the wind beneath my wings and a shining star and a brick house and a dancing queen.
Drawing stuff for my updates is fun, and surprisingly Brushy came out exactly the way I wanted him to. I say surprisingly because usually when I sit down to draw, say, Jon Favreau I start off with his elbow but find that the elbow I drew looks exactly like a duck so I just finish that duck. I'm a decent artist but I've got absolutely no talent at visualizing what I want and following through with it. I would be the worst commercial artist ever because Oscar Meyer would commission me to draw a delicious hot dog for a billboard campaign and I'd give them an incredibly detailed painting of Che Guevara and Bill Cosby making out.
Actually, I'd be the best commercial artist ever.
Are you concerned that you may be a character trapped in a Tom Waits song? Be smart and learn the warning signs before it's too late. Also, it's too late. It has always been too late.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
The Daily Dirt serves as a column for all Something Awful frontpage writers to write about, well, whatever they feel like putting into the Daily Dirt!