Steve: "Load space princesses into the torpedo tubes!"
Zack: Nice Rorschach mustache on this guy. I see a couple mermaids pissing. What about you?
Steve: I see a wicked space onslaught launched by the reptilian empire. Just the sort of thing I need to get me pumped up for non-stop alien action.
Zack: The last time I got pumped up for non-stop alien action my squad of Minuteman Patriots took so much meth we ended up on the southern side of the border in a shoot-out with cartel drug runners.
Steve: That didn't happen.
Zack: No, it totally did. I had my balls cut off and I was hung from a bridge in Ciudad Juarez.
Zack: Oh, no, my bad. That was a guy who tweeted once that he didn't like drugs.Steve: Maybe WE are the real aliens. Think about it. Stop the violence, people!
Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.
Today's viral teen news beat, brought to you by Mike from the Internet!
Ignore the hype. Find out how these games will likely go right or wrong.
Doing some reps on the water bottle huh. I prefer bench press myself. Just kidding - stay hydrated.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.