Steve: "Load space princesses into the torpedo tubes!"
Zack: Nice Rorschach mustache on this guy. I see a couple mermaids pissing. What about you?
Steve: I see a wicked space onslaught launched by the reptilian empire. Just the sort of thing I need to get me pumped up for non-stop alien action.
Zack: The last time I got pumped up for non-stop alien action my squad of Minuteman Patriots took so much meth we ended up on the southern side of the border in a shoot-out with cartel drug runners.
Steve: That didn't happen.
Zack: No, it totally did. I had my balls cut off and I was hung from a bridge in Ciudad Juarez.
Zack: Oh, no, my bad. That was a guy who tweeted once that he didn't like drugs.Steve: Maybe WE are the real aliens. Think about it. Stop the violence, people!
As the 19th century diver approaches a giant clam, a flash of brilliant golden light flares from within the shell. I emerge in a swirl of bubbles and do the timeless universal underwater hand signals for the following: ZODIAC KILLER, KKK, BLOOD OF YOUTH
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Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.