Zack: It looks like the family unit from one of the later Heinlein novels.
Steve: So what does that mean?
Zack: It means the dog is the dad who time-traveled out of a movie, the woman is the man's grandfather, and the man is actually the woman too, but from an alternate matriarchal earth where women oppress men and dominate politics.
Steve: That sounds like a dream I had.
Zack: I don't want to know.
Steve: It involved you, and you were my mom, and you wanted me to get you a banana that khal drogo from game of thrones stole but then when I couldn't get the banana back you turned into my gym teacher, only you were a tiger version of him wearing boxing gloves like king from tekken.
Zack: Keep me out of your homoerotic dreams.
Steve: There was nothing homoerotic about it dude. You beat me up for like an hour and then we went to a special place down below the house where there was a fountain of all the ice cream we could eat blasting up into the air like lava. Then we turned into horses and ran on a beach.
Zack: Didn't this start with me telling you I didn't want to know?
Steve: Does anything really start or is it always happening and we're just waiting to catch up with it?
Zack: God damn it Steve.
Simply put, if I had Johnny Manziel’s physical gifts, you better believe I would be there in the Weight Room, getting to bed early, doing whatever I had to do to be the best possible athlete I could be. I wouldn't be posting on social media about sucking titties. I wouldn't even look at a titty, buddy. I'd look at a titty and see two big footballs.
A real friend doesn't move until the middle of August, ensuring temperatures in the 90s and a humidity that turns boxers into moist balls of ruined cotton.
Expendable? You must be joking.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.