Zack: It looks like the family unit from one of the later Heinlein novels.
Steve: So what does that mean?
Zack: It means the dog is the dad who time-traveled out of a movie, the woman is the man's grandfather, and the man is actually the woman too, but from an alternate matriarchal earth where women oppress men and dominate politics.
Steve: That sounds like a dream I had.
Zack: I don't want to know.
Steve: It involved you, and you were my mom, and you wanted me to get you a banana that khal drogo from game of thrones stole but then when I couldn't get the banana back you turned into my gym teacher, only you were a tiger version of him wearing boxing gloves like king from tekken.
Zack: Keep me out of your homoerotic dreams.
Steve: There was nothing homoerotic about it dude. You beat me up for like an hour and then we went to a special place down below the house where there was a fountain of all the ice cream we could eat blasting up into the air like lava. Then we turned into horses and ran on a beach.
Zack: Didn't this start with me telling you I didn't want to know?
Steve: Does anything really start or is it always happening and we're just waiting to catch up with it?
Zack: God damn it Steve.
Are you concerned that you may be a character trapped in a Tom Waits song? Be smart and learn the warning signs before it's too late. Also, it's too late. It has always been too late.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.