Zack: It looks like the family unit from one of the later Heinlein novels.
Steve: So what does that mean?
Zack: It means the dog is the dad who time-traveled out of a movie, the woman is the man's grandfather, and the man is actually the woman too, but from an alternate matriarchal earth where women oppress men and dominate politics.
Steve: That sounds like a dream I had.
Zack: I don't want to know.
Steve: It involved you, and you were my mom, and you wanted me to get you a banana that khal drogo from game of thrones stole but then when I couldn't get the banana back you turned into my gym teacher, only you were a tiger version of him wearing boxing gloves like king from tekken.
Zack: Keep me out of your homoerotic dreams.
Steve: There was nothing homoerotic about it dude. You beat me up for like an hour and then we went to a special place down below the house where there was a fountain of all the ice cream we could eat blasting up into the air like lava. Then we turned into horses and ran on a beach.
Zack: Didn't this start with me telling you I didn't want to know?
Steve: Does anything really start or is it always happening and we're just waiting to catch up with it?
Zack: God damn it Steve.
Transgressive author Chuck Palahniuk is here to help with tips and tricks to hacking your life.
Not what I had in mind when I ordered an Italian gondolier. This is literally just a tiny toy. Needless to say, the Italian businessmen were not impressed and I looked like a damn fool. We lost the pizza pie account and will have to lay off half our factory.
Time to applaud the man who applauds in a loop until the end of time.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.