Zack: A power that turns your genitals into a weapon.
Steve: It's actually a whole charm set that basically lets you fight people with sex moves. Pretty boss if you ask me.
Zack: It is extremely mature.
Steve: An adult theme.
Zack: We're two mature adults, here, right? We can sit around my kitchen table and roll some dice up for when I throw my dick into a nightmare dragon's asshole.
Steve: I'm playing a girl with huuuuuuuge boobs that are like knives.
Steve: Also guns.
Zack: Yeah so this happened in an official product.
Steve: They won't even show this on a porno in a hotel room.Zack: Does that still exist?
Steve: I'm sure it does. What else would old ladies watch when they go to a wedding?
Are we not allowed to be real parents anymore? We may have feared the CyborFreaks, but we damn well respected them and learned about boundaries.
A thousand years ago, dudes were dying from splinters, but now the wizard potion that cleans our light wounds costs less than a Dr. Pepper in 1994. I love this medicinal 7up.
Ron Paul spins in his chair, trying to grab his decorative antique musket but Freddy gets it first.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.