Zack: A power that turns your genitals into a weapon.
Steve: It's actually a whole charm set that basically lets you fight people with sex moves. Pretty boss if you ask me.
Zack: It is extremely mature.
Steve: An adult theme.
Zack: We're two mature adults, here, right? We can sit around my kitchen table and roll some dice up for when I throw my dick into a nightmare dragon's asshole.
Steve: I'm playing a girl with huuuuuuuge boobs that are like knives.
Steve: Also guns.
Zack: Yeah so this happened in an official product.
Steve: They won't even show this on a porno in a hotel room.Zack: Does that still exist?
Steve: I'm sure it does. What else would old ladies watch when they go to a wedding?
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Cons: causes bad nightmares. I used to have to eat beef until I passed out to have these kind of terrors, but this machine does it for me every time I fall asleep inside it.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.