Zack: 40d10 appearing? Jesus Christ, just rolling the number of these things in an encounter is going to be a nightmare.
Steve: You don't need 40 dice, you can just roll the same die 40 times.
Zack: Sounds like the start of a magical Saturday afternoon.
Steve: I don't mind the big encounters. They can be fun if you play it loose. It's the look of this thing that bothers me. That is the nastiest looking hair I have ever seen.
Zack: Yeah, I agree. If 185 of those things charge me I'm going to be more worried about their creepy little cock button hats and tufts of back hair sprouting from their ears.
Steve: I think I saw a comic from the New York Times of 1840 and this was how they drew Italians back then.
Zack: A steamer approaches Ellis Island. The gangway is lowered to that hallowed ground. *Rolls 40d10* 214 Italians attack the customs official.
Steve: Xvart #1 changes his name to Zobart. Xvart #2 changes his name to Bart. Xvart #3 changes his name to Zooart.
Zack: I always wondered when immigrants and freed slaves named their kids things like George Washington, what if that kid became famous? Then their name would be a disservice to the person they were named after.
Steve: That's why I plan to name my kids after medieval weaponry. Greatsword if it's a boy, Glaive if it's a girl, and Num and Chuck if it's twins.
Zack: I hope you were rendered sterile by dental X-rays, Steve.
Are you concerned that you may be a character trapped in a Tom Waits song? Be smart and learn the warning signs before it's too late. Also, it's too late. It has always been too late.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.