Steve: Oh, just a dude living in a giant shell on a beach. No big deal at all.
Zack: Just to explain this full thing, the Sea Hermit is a giant, super-intelligent hermit crab creature that can turn himself into a human. His giant shell is actually a literal house and his goal is to trick people into going inside so he can imprison them and study them.
Steve: Considering how everything in D&D turns out to be some monster, even floors, ceilings, and doors, you would think a giant creepy shell would be a bad way to trick people.
Zack: Maybe D&D people are just conditioned to expect the reverse. Chests are monsters, floors are monsters, so therefore some weird guy by himself on a beach living in a monster sea shell must been an okay guy.
Steve: It does look like a pretty nice house.
Zack: No windows.
Steve: Counterpoint: giant hermit crab.
Zack: Counter-counterpoint: giant hermit crab imprisoned you and will probably kill you.
Steve: We all die eventually unless we achieve immortality through magic or dark pacts, killed by a giant hermit crab seems like a pretty cool way to go.
Zack: Says the bourgeois westerner who hasn't seen his family members brutally slain by giant hermit crabs.
The first phase of The Olive Garden's cyber rollout will introduce their Neverending Pneumatic Pasta Tube. This works on the same principal as bank drive-thru deposit tubes, but with unfrozen linguini and spaghetti.
Do you remember the crazy clothes and hair of the 1990s? Do you remember Crystal Pepsi and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? Do you remember where you hid the box your mother gave you?
It's still okay to like Ben Stiller, guys.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.