Zack: "Um, you don't really look like your profile."
Steve: "You've friendzoned me for the last time, Margaret!"
Zack: The tragic result of the strangest missed connections ad on craigslist.
Zack: "You were a snappy dressing dame with a lot of legs. I was the slumping, green-skinned hairbeast skulking in alleyways and casting menacing shadows as you hurried towards your destination."
Steve: I don't think that even comes close to being "the strangest missed connections ad."
Simply put, if I had Johnny Manziel’s physical gifts, you better believe I would be there in the Weight Room, getting to bed early, doing whatever I had to do to be the best possible athlete I could be. I wouldn't be posting on social media about sucking titties. I wouldn't even look at a titty, buddy. I'd look at a titty and see two big footballs.
A real friend doesn't move until the middle of August, ensuring temperatures in the 90s and a humidity that turns boxers into moist balls of ruined cotton.
Expendable? You must be joking.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.