Zack: This is what happens when you leave food out for stray cats.
Steve: I don't think those are cats. Unless things were way different in olden times.
Zack: I don't know about that, but the olden times certainly had a thing with women being almost naked and attacked by animals.
Steve: Maybe it used to be a common problem.
Steve: Like how we eliminated a bunch of diseases and also we got rid of swarms of varmints attacking sexy babes.
Zack: And just like with whooping cough, Jenny McCarthy is bringing them back.
Steve: I think a lot of people would pay to see Jenny McCarthy attacked by a swarm of squirrels.
Zack: I'd settle for her getting attacked by a garbage truck.
This is very real. As an insider I possess damning evidence that could utterly destroy Something Awful. This website has many enemies who appear to be coming to power in the United States. They probably have lots of money at their disposal, and I could really use some.
Don't let the winter dryness destroy your sinuses.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.