Zack: This is what happens when you leave food out for stray cats.
Steve: I don't think those are cats. Unless things were way different in olden times.
Zack: I don't know about that, but the olden times certainly had a thing with women being almost naked and attacked by animals.
Steve: Maybe it used to be a common problem.
Steve: Like how we eliminated a bunch of diseases and also we got rid of swarms of varmints attacking sexy babes.
Zack: And just like with whooping cough, Jenny McCarthy is bringing them back.
Steve: I think a lot of people would pay to see Jenny McCarthy attacked by a swarm of squirrels.
Zack: I'd settle for her getting attacked by a garbage truck.
Maria Mitchell is shown holding a telescope to each eye, using them to ogle passing hunks on the street below. OOOGA! Her tongue rolls out like a firehose, her eyes comically bulging through the ends of the telescopes.
The Internet experience of 2014 has been condensed into a single article for your convenience.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.