Steve: "It's not what it looks like!"
Zack: "Then what is it, Skurbk? You promised me you were done with women and I come home from lasering at the space castle to find you hugging another dame."
Steve: "Jeff, baby, believe me. I was helping her out! She was choking!"
Zack: Yeah, I bet she was choking. On your cloaca.
Zack: *laser sounds*
Steve: Every scene should end with laser sounds.
Zack: The last Holocaust survivor is wheeled past Oskar Schindler's grave. Fade to, "He who saves a life saves the world entire."
Steve: *laser sounds*
Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.
Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.
Ignore the hype. Find out how these games will likely go right or wrong.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.