Zack: Juicer census is complete! Looks like the Dragon Juicers are moving to the west side.
Steve: One Murder Wraith moves in and there goes the neighborhood.
Zack: They call that mohawk flight. Before you know it you've got escaped Splugorth Juicers hanging out on your street corners wearing hoodies and baggie injector pants and trying to sell you combat drugs.
Steve: All that time and effort you put into fixing up your bomb crater only to have post-apocalyptic property values plummet.
Zack: Only Palladium brings you game-critical and detailed information like sub-population statistics of bio-enhanced drug addicts in North America.
Steve: I like it. Rifts just gives you the freedom and information you need to roll up stats and fill in character sheets for all 97,342 Juicers and variant Juicers living in the USA.
Zack: I think you mean the CSA.
Steve: That was a test and you just passed it. Welcome to the Rifts brotherhood.
Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.
Today's viral teen news beat, brought to you by Mike from the Internet!
Ignore the hype. Find out how these games will likely go right or wrong.
Doing some reps on the water bottle huh. I prefer bench press myself. Just kidding - stay hydrated.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.