Zack: Juicer census is complete! Looks like the Dragon Juicers are moving to the west side.
Steve: One Murder Wraith moves in and there goes the neighborhood.
Zack: They call that mohawk flight. Before you know it you've got escaped Splugorth Juicers hanging out on your street corners wearing hoodies and baggie injector pants and trying to sell you combat drugs.
Steve: All that time and effort you put into fixing up your bomb crater only to have post-apocalyptic property values plummet.
Zack: Only Palladium brings you game-critical and detailed information like sub-population statistics of bio-enhanced drug addicts in North America.
Steve: I like it. Rifts just gives you the freedom and information you need to roll up stats and fill in character sheets for all 97,342 Juicers and variant Juicers living in the USA.
Zack: I think you mean the CSA.
Steve: That was a test and you just passed it. Welcome to the Rifts brotherhood.
Want to take part in our much-publicized trade in program to swap an old tablet or video game for in-store credit? Great! We just need your license, home phone number, email address, work number, and your fingerprints. We might even take a mugshot of you.
Are you ready to be consistently depressed by how you're throwing your money and life away? Check out Loot Crate's 2015 lineup of upcoming crates!
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.