Steve: "It says here that you spent six years as the Doom Initiative's Head of Terrorism. How do you think that applies to selling sporting equipment?"

Zack: Calling him a firecracker ready to explode seems to diminish him. Holiday poppers don't seem like Head of Terrorism material.

Steve: Then you haven't seen the Fourth of July fire department safety videos I have. That child mannequin burned to a molten heap.

Zack: It should have known better than to mess with *flips cape* Phantom Panther!

Steve: After he swings away dramatically his posture slouches and he walks over to his Sentra and drives back to his job selling Karate Gis and athletic cups to fat kids.

More WTF, D&D!?

This Week on Something Awful...

  • The Fracking Fables of Groggery Gibbonman

    The Fracking Fables of Groggery Gibbonman

    ‘Toad coin?’ wondered the traveler as he examined the pebble. It did not look all that different from any other pebble, and certainly nothing like a coin. ‘What manner of coin has no head or tail, and bears no seal or flag? Who backs this toad coin, the toad bank? The toad treasury!?’ The traveler laughed, but the toads croaked sternly back at him.

  • Your Dog is Totally Worth Refrigerated Food

    Your Dog is Totally Worth Refrigerated Food

    Spending $10-15 a day on perishable organic dog food is not a sign of a decadent culture in terminal decline, it's actually real good and worth it.

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.