Zack: Alright, they finish loading all the merch up. They stay aboard your ship, but their ship detaches and leaves. Soon, Ruth activates the hyperspace engine and the ship smoothly accelerates into hyperspace. The journey to Cloud City will only take a few hours.
Steve: I'm going to play holo chess with Beth.
Zack: She easily defeats you every game you play.
Steve: I will resist the urge to chop her into pieces with my light saber.
Zack: Alright, spiral wipe from you playing chess to your ship suddenly decelerating next to a colorful gas giant. Ruth guides the ship into the sun-painted skies of Bespin. Air speeders rise to meet you and escort you to one of the many landing platforms. As you lower the ramp, you are surprised to be greeted by a contingent of Cloud City troopers and a sinister-looking robot.
Steve: I pop open my light saber and strike a combat pose.
Zack: The Cloud City troopers raise their guns, but they back away at the sight of a Jedi. They are clearly intimidated. The skinny robot, however, only swivels his head slightly to point a glowing red eye at you.
Steve: "Okay, stoplight, you'd better turn green in a hurry, or I'm gonna make you turn red...forever."
The singer dove off the stage and crowd surfed in a sort of reverse funeral procession where the person being carried is the only one truly alive. Touching him I felt religious ecstasy and started speaking in tongues and requesting songs that didn't exist.
There's no easy way to put this, so I'll tell it like it is. Bouillon is died. He went missing before the weekend and yesterday I found his skeletonized remains at the bottom of the #3 soup vat during one of my swims. I thought the cream of mushroom soup had an especially nourishing taste, and a lot more clumps of fur and skin than usual.
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Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.