Steve: Hnnnnnn! Aw man, I should not have gotten extra cheese on that pizza.

Zack: "Honnnnney, toilet whip is broke!"

Steve: Weren't we supposed to be going through the book for character stuff?

Zack: Oh, yeah, I got caught up in the wonders of Synnibarr's bodily function monsters.

Zack: Raven c.s. McCracken has helpfully included 192 skills in the game. The majority are nearly useless.

Steve: That's pretty accurate to real life. Most people I know have lame skills like chauffeuring or like baking. They don't focus on the real useful stuff like climbing and throwing stars.

Zack: Alright, well keep in mind most people in Synnibarr look more like the whip shitter than you or me. So you've got a water elemental learning, say...

Zack: Or maybe an Amazon has spent six months learning...

What's wrong with giving your village curb appeal?

Zack: Other skills on the massive list include basket weaving, cinematography, organic electronics engineering, glass blowing, jumping, massaging, metaphysics, Xeno Undertaking, and something called Anti-criminology.

Steve: All skills you need if you are designing a meat camera for your documentary about weaving glass basket coffins for the burial of alien spirits with bad lumbars...and getting away with it.

Zack: By jumping.

More WTF, D&D!?

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Advanced Level Sexy Catcalls

    Advanced Level Sexy Catcalls

    Hows about you, me, and five uncomfortable minutes in my basement apartment next to the dusty Christmas tree that's still up from my last visit with my estranged children.

  • Zagat's Guide to Poor Person Eating

    Zagat's Guide to Poor Person Eating

    The Upper Kitchen Cabinet Where Your Roommate Keeps His Food: You’ll 'need the footstool' to reach your roommate’s 'fine selection' of 'stale cereal,' but he'll never notice if 'only a little is missing from each box.' Feel less guilty by reminding yourself that Jeff 'acts weird around your girlfriend,' and always 'asks about her.' What a 'creep.'

Copyright ©2015 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.