Steve: Hnnnnnn! Aw man, I should not have gotten extra cheese on that pizza.
Zack: "Honnnnney, toilet whip is broke!"
Steve: Weren't we supposed to be going through the book for character stuff?
Zack: Oh, yeah, I got caught up in the wonders of Synnibarr's bodily function monsters.
Zack: Raven c.s. McCracken has helpfully included 192 skills in the game. The majority are nearly useless.
Steve: That's pretty accurate to real life. Most people I know have lame skills like chauffeuring or like baking. They don't focus on the real useful stuff like climbing and throwing stars.
Zack: Alright, well keep in mind most people in Synnibarr look more like the whip shitter than you or me. So you've got a water elemental learning, say...
Zack: Or maybe an Amazon has spent six months learning...
Steve: What's wrong with giving your village curb appeal?
Zack: Other skills on the massive list include basket weaving, cinematography, organic electronics engineering, glass blowing, jumping, massaging, metaphysics, Xeno Undertaking, and something called Anti-criminology.
Steve: All skills you need if you are designing a meat camera for your documentary about weaving glass basket coffins for the burial of alien spirits with bad lumbars...and getting away with it.
Zack: By jumping.
Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.
Today's viral teen news beat, brought to you by Mike from the Internet!
Ignore the hype. Find out how these games will likely go right or wrong.
Doing some reps on the water bottle huh. I prefer bench press myself. Just kidding - stay hydrated.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.