Steve: Hnnnnnn! Aw man, I should not have gotten extra cheese on that pizza.
Zack: "Honnnnney, toilet whip is broke!"
Steve: Weren't we supposed to be going through the book for character stuff?
Zack: Oh, yeah, I got caught up in the wonders of Synnibarr's bodily function monsters.
Zack: Raven c.s. McCracken has helpfully included 192 skills in the game. The majority are nearly useless.
Steve: That's pretty accurate to real life. Most people I know have lame skills like chauffeuring or like baking. They don't focus on the real useful stuff like climbing and throwing stars.
Zack: Alright, well keep in mind most people in Synnibarr look more like the whip shitter than you or me. So you've got a water elemental learning, say...
Zack: Or maybe an Amazon has spent six months learning...
Steve: What's wrong with giving your village curb appeal?
Zack: Other skills on the massive list include basket weaving, cinematography, organic electronics engineering, glass blowing, jumping, massaging, metaphysics, Xeno Undertaking, and something called Anti-criminology.
Steve: All skills you need if you are designing a meat camera for your documentary about weaving glass basket coffins for the burial of alien spirits with bad lumbars...and getting away with it.
Zack: By jumping.
I want my bed to look like the health department is checking for bedbugs. I want to feel like it’s on an episode of Maury getting scanned for semen.
Do all of your holiday shopping in the Star Citizen online store! We have great deals on space ships for a game that may not be released for years. Think of these as investments in your future enjoyment.
It's still okay to like Ben Stiller, guys.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.