Zack: Now THIS is an enemy.
Steve: I wonder what the cyberpope's thoughts are about the space gods.Zack: And, again, Dawkins loses another beachhead. Looks like the Internet just downloaded some Bible, dipshit.
Steve: The Swiss guards look way cooler than they do now.
Zack: They look like Swiss Vipers.
Steve: So? More armies need to incorporate mirrored motorcycle helmets into their uniforms.
Zack: Activate cyberchin. Activate cyberhat. Activate cybervestments.
Steve: He's probably got some pretty cool apps on that hat.
Zack: Nah, it's just Plants vs. Zombies and an app that reminds him to give his dog a pill twice a day.
Steve: He's got to have something on there that warns him when some commandos with double uzis are jumping out of a helicopter and screaming.
Evil Cooper and Chechen President Ramzan Kadyrov have both been on a rampage, but who did what?
"Your left eye," the optometrist casually explained while blasting my face with a blue laser at point blank range, "is farsighted and shaped like an eyeball. The other eye is nearsighted and shaped like a football. Not even a good football."
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.