Steve: Nobody gets hurt if you empty the register into my dreamcatcher.
Zack: As you can see I have a lot of experience with turquoise and beads. Drum circles. Vision quests. Eating whole animals including bones. You name it, i have what this company needs.
Steve: Even wolf men need to hire CPAs to do their taxes.
Zack: Vampire meltdown carpet cleaning: $200. Traveled through a mirror into alternate reality and lost my watch: $500. You can't write this stuff off business expenses, Walks On Butt.
Steve: To a werewolf all taxes are the theft of Gaia.
Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.
Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.
Ignore the hype. Find out how these games will likely go right or wrong.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.