Steve: Nobody gets hurt if you empty the register into my dreamcatcher.

Zack: As you can see I have a lot of experience with turquoise and beads. Drum circles. Vision quests. Eating whole animals including bones. You name it, i have what this company needs.

Steve: Even wolf men need to hire CPAs to do their taxes.

Zack: Vampire meltdown carpet cleaning: $200. Traveled through a mirror into alternate reality and lost my watch: $500. You can't write this stuff off business expenses, Walks On Butt.

Steve: To a werewolf all taxes are the theft of Gaia.

More WTF, D&D!?

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Meditations from a Movable Weiner

    Meditations from a Movable Weiner

    Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.

  • BarkWire.com Dog Reviews: The Barquis de Sade & Cleaver

    BarkWire.com Dog Reviews: The Barquis de Sade & Cleaver

    Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.