Steve: Nobody gets hurt if you empty the register into my dreamcatcher.
Zack: As you can see I have a lot of experience with turquoise and beads. Drum circles. Vision quests. Eating whole animals including bones. You name it, i have what this company needs.
Steve: Even wolf men need to hire CPAs to do their taxes.
Zack: Vampire meltdown carpet cleaning: $200. Traveled through a mirror into alternate reality and lost my watch: $500. You can't write this stuff off business expenses, Walks On Butt.
Steve: To a werewolf all taxes are the theft of Gaia.
This Week on Something Awful...
Guitar Supermen Are Our Superiors
The singer dove off the stage and crowd surfed in a sort of reverse funeral procession where the person being carried is the only one truly alive. Touching him I felt religious ecstasy and started speaking in tongues and requesting songs that didn't exist.
Memos from Bear Cave: Broth of Woe
There's no easy way to put this, so I'll tell it like it is. Bouillon is died. He went missing before the weekend and yesterday I found his skeletonized remains at the bottom of the #3 soup vat during one of my swims. I thought the cream of mushroom soup had an especially nourishing taste, and a lot more clumps of fur and skin than usual.
9 Reasons to Be Fairly Fricking Outraged Right About Now
Were you enjoying your day? STOP! There is outrageous crap going on you need to know about!
Please Enjoy The First Two Minutes Of A Triple-A Game
Experience several minutes of top-tier modern game design for FREE.
About This Column
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.
Previous Articles
- Dungeons & Dragons Christmas Elf Retrospective
- More Art of Vampire: The Maquerade (1990s)
- Steve's RPG Thankfulness
- AD&D 2nd Edition Spelljammer: Space Lairs
- 3rd Edition Dungeons & Dragons: Fiend Folio
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