Steve: Nobody gets hurt if you empty the register into my dreamcatcher.
Zack: As you can see I have a lot of experience with turquoise and beads. Drum circles. Vision quests. Eating whole animals including bones. You name it, i have what this company needs.
Steve: Even wolf men need to hire CPAs to do their taxes.
Zack: Vampire meltdown carpet cleaning: $200. Traveled through a mirror into alternate reality and lost my watch: $500. You can't write this stuff off business expenses, Walks On Butt.
Steve: To a werewolf all taxes are the theft of Gaia.
This Week on Something Awful...
The Deadliest Snake In The Wild West
Ask any cowboy and they'll tell you: The deadliest snake in the wild west is Lava-Filled Hole Shaped Exactly Like A Cowboy Silhouette
Garfield Cooks Up Trouble is the most offensive and dangerous book I've ever read
Garfield is a poison of bigotry on our culture and I have never been more offended on behalf of people than I am right now.
A Guide to Understanding Ben Garrison's Political Cartoons
Ben Garrison's Cartoons are finally explained!
Not Being Scared By A Person With A Chainsaw!
me, getting my arm hacked off: you moron. chainsaws arent even used in hockey
A Recap Of Every DOTA 2 International Match
(indecipherable yelling as eight heroes stand still in an ankle-deep wavepool)
About This Column
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.
Previous Articles
- Dungeons & Dragons Christmas Elf Retrospective
- More Art of Vampire: The Maquerade (1990s)
- Steve's RPG Thankfulness
- AD&D 2nd Edition Spelljammer: Space Lairs
- 3rd Edition Dungeons & Dragons: Fiend Folio
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