Steve: Nobody gets hurt if you empty the register into my dreamcatcher.
Zack: As you can see I have a lot of experience with turquoise and beads. Drum circles. Vision quests. Eating whole animals including bones. You name it, i have what this company needs.
Steve: Even wolf men need to hire CPAs to do their taxes.
Zack: Vampire meltdown carpet cleaning: $200. Traveled through a mirror into alternate reality and lost my watch: $500. You can't write this stuff off business expenses, Walks On Butt.
Steve: To a werewolf all taxes are the theft of Gaia.
This Week on Something Awful...
BarkWire.com Dog Reviews: The Barquis de Sade & Cleaver
Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.
Mike's Teen News 2014
Today's viral teen news beat, brought to you by Mike from the Internet!
Realistic Expectations For This Year's Biggest Games
Ignore the hype. Find out how these games will likely go right or wrong.
Funny Things to Say to a Guy Drinking out of a Sports-Style Bottle!
Doing some reps on the water bottle huh. I prefer bench press myself. Just kidding - stay hydrated.
About This Column
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.
Previous Articles
- Dungeons & Dragons Christmas Elf Retrospective
- More Art of Vampire: The Maquerade (1990s)
- Steve's RPG Thankfulness
- AD&D 2nd Edition Spelljammer: Space Lairs
- 3rd Edition Dungeons & Dragons: Fiend Folio
Suggested Articles
What's Hot
Popular Threads
I know intellectually that I should check myself before I wreck myself,
list ways john oliver will distinguish his show from stewart/colbert itt
ITT i attempt to clear the air (and the poop)
are horses real?
Does anyone think Will & Grace is funny?
The Gay Community has a new Champion
Stone Cold Steve Austin is pro gay marriage. GIMME A HELL YEAH!
Asian Football Players