"DEBORAH the QUEEN of EVIL"
Random Oni Table Rolls
Body (37) Broad, muscular human
Head (99) Ratlike
Nose (79) Tiny nose
Eyes (22) Large round eyes that are white
Mouth (53) Large toad mouth, no lips, just a long slit with sharp teeth
Arms (46) Thin arms, gnarled, muscular, but misshapen
Legs (79) Human feet with clawed toes
Other (29) Large mane of black hair
Color (21) Light red (I think they mean pink)
Description: Deborah is a summonable demon who has the ability to cast the level 10 spell 'Uncomfortable sexual tension' between herself and any character. During battle any character afflicted with 'Uncomfortable sexual tension' will spend his turns alternating between unbearable lust and unbearable self-loathing, and has to roll a saving throw against shame-inspired suicide.
Zack: Second in creepiness only to that weird albino furry man thing that we also gave a prize to.
Steve: I'm just going to stare into this thing's dead eyes and try to forget we ever saw that other thing.Zack: At least this one has hooters.
Steve: But they're scary boobs. Terror boobs are the worst sort of boobs, because you should never take off a shirt and see some boobs and be like AAAAHHHH! You should be more like ahhhhhhh...
Simply put, if I had Johnny Manziel’s physical gifts, you better believe I would be there in the Weight Room, getting to bed early, doing whatever I had to do to be the best possible athlete I could be. I wouldn't be posting on social media about sucking titties. I wouldn't even look at a titty, buddy. I'd look at a titty and see two big footballs.
A real friend doesn't move until the middle of August, ensuring temperatures in the 90s and a humidity that turns boxers into moist balls of ruined cotton.
Expendable? You must be joking.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.