Steve: Yessssssssssss! Girl, cast that spell like the spirit of the football team depends on it.
Zack: "Yep, just gonna cinch myself into a handkerchief, get my biggest white cape, put on my highest heels and step out on the dragon balcony to enjoy the night."
Steve: Sure, dude, go ahead and criticize how impractical wizardess costumes are, but they rely on magic to avoid damage so they can have as much of their boobs hanging out as they want.
Zack: She looks like a stripper from Ft. Lauderdale trying to surrender to someone by way of a Google Map.
Steve: I don't even understand that joke, but if the strippers look like this, I am going to Ft. Lauderdale.
Zack: I wouldn't. When you get up close you realize she surrendered to the crystal a long time ago.
Steve: Wizards do love their crystals.
When I try to clear the ball, run into me at a thousand miles per hour, sending me flying halfway across the map. If the ball is coming down in front of the opposing goal and I'm in position to tap it in, run into me at a thousand miles per hour. Never stop slamming into me at a thousand miles per hour, unless you can slam into me even faster.
eSports are getting more attention, but these new non-nerd spectators have no idea what's going happening. Help them understand how and why you've decided to waste your life with these simple approaches.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.