Steve: I'm a little embarrassed by this one.
Zack: It attacks you? God, maybe Derek Smart was just defending himself from that Coke machine like he posted on 35 different forums where he found his name mentioned.
Steve: Is he that baseball player?
Zack: No, he's like the version of Obama that Glenn Beck believes exists, only instead of being an arrogant Islamic racist illegitimate President, Derek Smart just threatens to sue people and makes posts on forums arguing about a video game that will never be released.
Steve: Sort of like the economic recovery is imaginary. You know, after the economy crashed and the stimulus bill thing.
Zack: Steve, I didn't know you were getting so political.Steve: I'm not, I heard some man yell that in his car when I was stopped at a stoplight. I looked over at him and waved and he told me that Obama should go on government health care if he loves it so much. I agree with that. If you love something you shouldn't deny yourself that thing you love.
Zack: You're just trying to change the subject away from the fact that D&D has released an official pop vending machine.
Steve: Not at all I followed the story about the cop who did that thing.
Maria Mitchell is shown holding a telescope to each eye, using them to ogle passing hunks on the street below. OOOGA! Her tongue rolls out like a firehose, her eyes comically bulging through the ends of the telescopes.
The Internet experience of 2014 has been condensed into a single article for your convenience.
Youtube user HolkHogan420 has been systematically exposing all of the Illuminati's plans.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.