From: Shifty
Subject: Ask Jeff K!

HDear Jeff K,

I am 26 years old, divorced, with two children. I am still living with my ex-husband because the children love their father, and he adores them. Our living together allows the kids to have the same stable life they had before the divorce, but I am not comfortable living here, and must be careful around my ex, because he yells at me a lot. He does not yell at the kids.

The problem is, I recently met a wonderful man. I spent 10 years with my ex-husband, and had no idea what a loving relationship was like. Now, I know what I have been missing. I find myself sneaking around and lying about where I have been. I hate doing this, but I do not want to stop seeing this man.

Please help me, Jeff. I don't want to separate my children from their father at such a young age, but I cannot bear to give up the love of my life. I don't want to choose my happiness over my children's, but that is what it has come down to. Please give me some guidance.

i haev watched teh Liftime channal, and I haev seen movies about this. Yuo should probly shots yuor husband when he touches the babysittars boobs and then he will steal yuor kids and hide. So yuo go to yuor mothars house and cry alot and yuor friends say "It's okey, we finds him" and Police come ovar to say "maam, we cant find yuor husband" becuase he si vary rich and travaled to Peru. so yuo will go with yuor good husband and find teh kids and then there's a car chase and that's all I saw ( I had school next day and had too go to sleep). So I dont know, maek more kids or something.

From: "ManixT"
Subject: lawsuits

hey super l33t jeff k, what do you think of all this shit with artists such as metallica and Dr Dre sueing napster?

I dont use Napstar, I use Netscape

From: "Jennifer Stewart"
Subject: help me Jeff K!

Hi Jeff K, I am in a bind and need your expert advice. I can tell from your column that you are knowledgeable on many topics. Could you please give me some advice on what to buy my mother for her birthday? She will be turning 40 and I want to get her something nice. Keep in mind that I don’t have very much money because I recently had surgery and had to take time off work to recuperate. Thanks Jeff K!

Sincerely, Jenn K.

buy her a tombstone.

From: MeSSeR
Subject: site

how old are you? you spell like a fucking 3 year old. Your fucking dumb, your the worst peice of shit on the web. Userfriendly OWNS J00 and STILE OWNS J00 TOO

Hahahahahaaaaa SORREY SIR, NO JAPANESE MEN EATEING POOPS ON MY SITE WRONG PLACE CHARLIE!! maeybe yuo typed in "KEYWORD: L33T" instead of "KEYWORD: POOP PICTARES" on yuor AOL account and got teh wrong siet. BUT MAEYBE YUO ARE FELLOW HAX0R BECUASE YUO WRITE "J00" SO YUO ARE L33T liek me. its funney you say Usar Friendly and Staile Project becuase BOTH ARE ABOUT LOTS OF POOP#

Okey, too finish up this colamn, I want too say that Teh intarview I did with Scot Warnar didant turn ouut as good as I wanted it too. Towards teh end, he was VARY meane and a jerk!!! So I writes a lettar to his boss, JE Sawyaer (he owns Black Aisle entartainment and makes Windy Dale and Baldars Gate):

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