5. Henrik Lundqvist (Goalie, New York Rangers)



Lundqvist's "Lundkissed lips" appear on a variety of merch, including his t-shirts showcasing his selection as the sexiest hockey player by Page Six magazine. This sexy shirt is sure to get motors running especially chocolate motors with a bowl filled with Herhsey's "Lundkisses" sold in the New York Ranger's online store.

6. CC Sabathia (Pitcher, New York Yankees)


CC's "[INCEPTION]" branded merch shows off his appreciation for his favorite Christopher Nolan mind-bender. Said CC, "When he makes the city fold out and then there's that BBWWWWWONNNNG sound. I love it. Every pitch. BWWWWWWONNNNG in my head."

More Features / Articles

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Freakypizza: The Sweater Curse

    Freakypizza: The Sweater Curse

    Elliot said my breakup must have been due to the sweater curse, an unexplained phenomenon where anyone who gives their significant other a hand-knit sweater gets dumped. The only way to break the curse, Elliot said, was to destroy the sweater.

  • Spout.ly Drinking Fountain Enthusiast Lingo

    Spout.ly Drinking Fountain Enthusiast Lingo

    Can't tell a drinking fountain from a urinal? We've got you covered. Brush up on your drinking fountain enthusiast -- or sipper -- vocabulary and learn to talk and swap sips with the best of them.

Copyright ©2015 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.