"Pancakes" all the way. Everyone knows the iconic hoops term "pancakes" and its association with JaVale McGee who "loves pancakes." Available on hats, shirts, socks, belts and NBA-licensed charm bracelets at Target stores.
Tony Romo's "Maraca Jerk" Rasta pepper playing maracas can be found on a variety of branded merch. He picked the pepper because he likes things spicy and a little bit wild. It fits his rebel personality.
"The Jan Kat" tough alley cat is worn by all the tough cat fans of Sebastian "Janky" Jankowski. You can hear the Jan Kats in the kicker's corner in the Oakland stadium cheering during every important kick.
Apparently you do want to be lonely, because you defied the one rule of Farmers Only.
We've found some cool stuff in the woods. Now it's time for you to pinkie swear you won't tell mom and dad.
I highly recommend Windows 10 With Mouse + Keyboard Support Edition
Featured articles and columns that don't fit anywhere else on Something Awful.