|Henchman Status Update (5 of 6)|
|The status of Death has been changed from ACTIVE to UNKNOWN.|
|Name: Horseman, D. (UNKNOWN)|
Codename(s): Death, The Reaper
Primary Role: Legal Counsel
Secondary Role: Patent filing, defense attorney.
Specialties: Wrongful injury claims, class-action, instant death touch.
Availability: On Hire (hire)
Average Customer Rating: (rate)
|Circumstance of Contract Liquidation:|
Death used his death gaze to slaughter an entire platoon of T.E.A.M. jetpack troopers and then used his death strike to kill a pair of T.E.A.M. white ninjas. T.E.A.M. Agent 80085 was badly wounded by Death's death briefcase, but before Death could deliver the coup des grace she was saved by Agent 3. Death fought Agent 3 with a mace, but was distracted by repeated text messages requesting his attendance at a mesothiolioma class-action suit. Agent 3 delivered what would have been a fatal blow to the head, but it never made contact. Death disappeared without a trace. Attempts to contact Horseman, Horseman, Horseman, (more)
Elliot said my breakup must have been due to the sweater curse, an unexplained phenomenon where anyone who gives their significant other a hand-knit sweater gets dumped. The only way to break the curse, Elliot said, was to destroy the sweater.
Can't tell a drinking fountain from a urinal? We've got you covered. Brush up on your drinking fountain enthusiast -- or sipper -- vocabulary and learn to talk and swap sips with the best of them.
Featured articles and columns that don't fit anywhere else on Something Awful.