Henchman Status Update (5 of 6)
The status of Death has been changed from ACTIVE to UNKNOWN.
Name: Horseman, D. (UNKNOWN)
Codename(s): Death, The Reaper
Primary Role: Legal Counsel
Secondary Role: Patent filing, defense attorney.
Specialties: Wrongful injury claims, class-action, instant death touch.

Availability: On Hire (hire)
Contracted To: Adverse Interests, LLC.
Term of Hire: Indefinite Retainer or d/c/f

DEATH PAYOUT: 2,500,000 USD to Horseman, Jennifer (spouse).

Average Customer Rating: (rate)

Customer Review:

Best henchman litigator around

Reviewed by Disney
The lawyers of Horseman, Horseman, Horseman and Horseman are the best in the business and for my money none are better than Death. He handles all of our intellectual property work as well as covering up for us whenever one of the runaways escapes our sadomasochism dungeon. I can't begin to tell you how many child killings have been taken care of by (more)

Circumstance of Contract Liquidation:

Death used his death gaze to slaughter an entire platoon of T.E.A.M. jetpack troopers and then used his death strike to kill a pair of T.E.A.M. white ninjas. T.E.A.M. Agent 80085 was badly wounded by Death's death briefcase, but before Death could deliver the coup des grace she was saved by Agent 3. Death fought Agent 3 with a mace, but was distracted by repeated text messages requesting his attendance at a mesothiolioma class-action suit. Agent 3 delivered what would have been a fatal blow to the head, but it never made contact. Death disappeared without a trace. Attempts to contact Horseman, Horseman, Horseman, (more)

More Features / Articles

This Week on Something Awful...

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.