|Henchman Status Update (2 of 6)|
|The status of Grenade Launcher Ocelot has been changed from ACTIVE to DECEASED.|
|Name: Hauser, Joshua (DECEASED)|
Codename(s): Grenade Launcher Ocelot
Join Date: 3-16-02
Primary Role: Vanguard Trooper
Secondary Role: Grenading
Specialties: Fully certified on the A-34 assault gun, Pfester Vulcan Gatling Grenade Cannon, Assad Boomerang Charges, and Bell Laboratories Nuder. Licensed Chauffeur.
Availability: On Hire (hire)
Average Customer Rating: (rate)
|Circumstance of Contract Liquidation:|
Grenade Launcher Ocelot was assigned to man the grenade turret on top of the airborne command center. He was distracted by a thrown coin and then strangled with nylon cable by a T.E.A.M. agent. He was kicked in the sternum off a railing and his unconscious body was used as a counterweight by his assailant. At the height of the assailant's assent, the T.E.A.M. agent cut the nylon cable being used to strangle Grenade Launcher Ocelot, which caused Grenade Launcher Ocelot to fall 73 feet to his death. Unaffiliated medical personnel attempted to revive him, but (more)
Ernest Cline, writer of Ready Player One, shares his newest poem.
Honestly, the Assassin In Love poster is nearly perfect to begin with. It just needs a few minor tweaks.
Featured articles and columns that don't fit anywhere else on Something Awful.