|Henchman Status Update (3 of 6)|
|The status of Chief Toots-A-Whistle has been changed from ACTIVE to DECEASED.|
|Name: Ironhorse, Walter (DECEASED)|
Codename(s): Chief Toots-A-Whistle, The Steam Injun, Baroque N' Arrow, Rotates-With-Cogs
Join Date: 5-2-00
Primary Role: Stoic Wisdom
Secondary Role: Shamanism, steampunkery, sand painting
Specialties: Selling overpriced turquoise to white ladies, looking for signs and omens of things, and punching through brick walls with his pneumatic steam-ram fists.
Availability: On Hire (hire)
Average Customer Rating: (rate)
|Circumstance of Contract Liquidation:|
Confronted a T.E.A.M. white ninja with a spirit drum and the story of brother coyote. Cause of death was torso bisection by hyperkatana followed by complete innard plopulation. We did not know T.E.A.M. possessed hyperkatana technology. T.E.A.M. must have stolen it from Matsuo Heavy Evil or one of the Chinese (more)
Are you concerned that you may be a character trapped in a Tom Waits song? Be smart and learn the warning signs before it's too late. Also, it's too late. It has always been too late.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Featured articles and columns that don't fit anywhere else on Something Awful.