|Henchman Status Update (3 of 6)|
|The status of Chief Toots-A-Whistle has been changed from ACTIVE to DECEASED.|
|Name: Ironhorse, Walter (DECEASED)|
Codename(s): Chief Toots-A-Whistle, The Steam Injun, Baroque N' Arrow, Rotates-With-Cogs
Join Date: 5-2-00
Primary Role: Stoic Wisdom
Secondary Role: Shamanism, steampunkery, sand painting
Specialties: Selling overpriced turquoise to white ladies, looking for signs and omens of things, and punching through brick walls with his pneumatic steam-ram fists.
Availability: On Hire (hire)
Average Customer Rating: (rate)
|Circumstance of Contract Liquidation:|
Confronted a T.E.A.M. white ninja with a spirit drum and the story of brother coyote. Cause of death was torso bisection by hyperkatana followed by complete innard plopulation. We did not know T.E.A.M. possessed hyperkatana technology. T.E.A.M. must have stolen it from Matsuo Heavy Evil or one of the Chinese (more)
I want my bed to look like the health department is checking for bedbugs. I want to feel like it’s on an episode of Maury getting scanned for semen.
Do all of your holiday shopping in the Star Citizen online store! We have great deals on space ships for a game that may not be released for years. Think of these as investments in your future enjoyment.
It's still okay to like Ben Stiller, guys.
Featured articles and columns that don't fit anywhere else on Something Awful.