|Henchman Status Update (3 of 6)|
|The status of Chief Toots-A-Whistle has been changed from ACTIVE to DECEASED.|
|Name: Ironhorse, Walter (DECEASED)|
Codename(s): Chief Toots-A-Whistle, The Steam Injun, Baroque N' Arrow, Rotates-With-Cogs
Join Date: 5-2-00
Primary Role: Stoic Wisdom
Secondary Role: Shamanism, steampunkery, sand painting
Specialties: Selling overpriced turquoise to white ladies, looking for signs and omens of things, and punching through brick walls with his pneumatic steam-ram fists.
Availability: On Hire (hire)
Average Customer Rating: (rate)
|Circumstance of Contract Liquidation:|
Confronted a T.E.A.M. white ninja with a spirit drum and the story of brother coyote. Cause of death was torso bisection by hyperkatana followed by complete innard plopulation. We did not know T.E.A.M. possessed hyperkatana technology. T.E.A.M. must have stolen it from Matsuo Heavy Evil or one of the Chinese (more)
TOTAL WRECK - crazy-eyed hound is covered in cobwebs, has a vespiary on back, graffiti on side and savage thirst for boat fuel. Frankly, I'm in over my head. He's in room 115 at Motel 6, yours free. 555-2851
Yes, it's the perfect form for surviving a car crash. But it's also the perfect form for so much more, like surviving the trauma of reading any news headline in 2016.
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