Name: Nailbiter's Square
Price: 14 pesos / millimeter
Pets: For dinner only
- Free occasional access to neighbor's apartment.
- Community storage of midgets and drunks.
- "Free" evil removal on Tuesday morning.
- Tennis courts built from asbestos and sprayed with lead paint. Line judge ALWAYS on duty and armed with a copy of "Mortyr", so don't even think about cheating.
- Trekkies clean your chimney once a month.
- Easy delivery of "Real Company Food" to your door or bedroom when you sleep.
- Close to the 'hood. Find your favorite junkies and be shot by them!
- Free ant farm (unenclosed) with each new apartment referral.
- Parking lot moans and sweats at night.
- "Unique" electrical outlet placement.
- Refrigerator with ice maker. Recently upgraded to produce "clear" ice!
- To help you conserve electricity, we've installed only .1 amp fuses in your new home.
- Site of the Home & Garden Network's smash hit, "Gardening With Convicts".
- We welcome professional and government employees for tenants. We deal frequently with government agencies as we are known far and wide as a government safe-house.
- You'll enjoy getting to know lovable characters like "Stan" the manager. "Stan" would love to share his DT's and Vietnam flashbacks with you!
- Our apartments are perfect for children of all ages! On average, white children fetch an extra $50 in our area!
"The moon is made up of over 48 elements, including magnesium, zinc, oak, and rubber!"