Unique design insures your apartment will be the "talk of the town"!
Name: Whispering Whisper Pine Forest
Price: $3.14159 / second
Pets: For dinner only
- Private stalls to store your mules
- A room to sleep in, in addition to a room to pee in. If you've been drinking heavily, one room can double for both.
- Santa Claus-proof doors and windows.
- We provide a maintenance man with "the chuckles".
- Free angry hornet's nest under your bed.
- All-you-care-to-breathe oxygen supply.
- Track and Field style hurdles in the hallway to the bathroom.
- Cretin access on Mondays, Thursdays, and Fridays (ONLY).
- Your own private cemetery awaits you once the berserk Jas-5000 robot kills you.
- Daily wake-up call from Gus, who will repeatedly ask what you're wearing and if you will be interested in taking it off.
- Free access to "The Pork Channel"
- Sand Volleyball Court / Glass Bottle Recycling Area.
- A Nu-Wav ceiling fan with two paddles to maximize "efficiency".
- Relive a windy day with our patented WindySounding Air Conditioning.
- Play "find the shower nozzle" for hours in our luxurious 5-star accommodations.
"If I was a vampire, I'd probably would have killed each and every one of you by now."