13. Make Greeting Cards Yourself
The average American spends way too much on greeting cards every year. Like at least 25 dollars. A good way to save money versus these soulless card corporations is to make some cards yourself. Get some paper and make a card. It's fun.
The treacherous New England Patriots are guilty of deflating their footballs. We must punish them severely in the name of holy retribution. This transgression has been the biggest headline in the United States for an entire week, and it should be the primary concern of all nations.
We have used extensive market research to determine the average consumers of America's favorite rolls of caramel-oozing choco cysts.
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