13. Make Greeting Cards Yourself
The average American spends way too much on greeting cards every year. Like at least 25 dollars. A good way to save money versus these soulless card corporations is to make some cards yourself. Get some paper and make a card. It's fun.
As the 19th century diver approaches a giant clam, a flash of brilliant golden light flares from within the shell. I emerge in a swirl of bubbles and do the timeless universal underwater hand signals for the following: ZODIAC KILLER, KKK, BLOOD OF YOUTH
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