Fifa lived out her dream and immediately got a job as a criminal. Duke needed to pay the bills so he found work as a politician. Perfect! A way to get away from that crying baby during the day. The babysitter arrived to tend to the baby joint.
Across the gulf of the house, minds immeasurably superior to ours regarded the baby burrito with envious eyes. Slowly and surely, they drew their plans against the babysitter...
Their initial attempt to form a cordon failed, but they soon received reinforcements and confronted the unwitting babysitter.
The trap was sprung!
No escape! Tonight the gnomes will feast on the ripened flesh of the babywatcher! Her pleas to save the baby were useless. Why would they harm her? They serve her.
When I try to clear the ball, run into me at a thousand miles per hour, sending me flying halfway across the map. If the ball is coming down in front of the opposing goal and I'm in position to tap it in, run into me at a thousand miles per hour. Never stop slamming into me at a thousand miles per hour, unless you can slam into me even faster.
eSports are getting more attention, but these new non-nerd spectators have no idea what's going happening. Help them understand how and why you've decided to waste your life with these simple approaches.
Featured articles and columns that don't fit anywhere else on Something Awful.