Eventually a firelady arrived and extinguished the fire by looking horrified. Homeowner's insurance covered the cost of a replacement oven.
Duke was even able to salvage his sausages, but his mind was on thoughts of escape. He couldn't enjoy his sausages because of all the turmoil.
By the next day it was apparent Duke had made a baby thing inside of his wife's hootie-hatch. That meant it was time to redecorate.
There was some landscaping to do as well. What newborn doesn't love a swing set or dozens of bales of hay?
Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.
Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.
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