My friend took his girlfriend to San Franscisco and had a romantic dinner and setting planned, but unfortunately, that particular day of their vacation was fraught with travel troubles and frustration, so he canned the idea in lieu of another day.
So, the next day, they're walking outside and he asks, "Can I ask you a serious question?"
"Does this shirt make my ass look fat?"
"Oh, okay. Well, can I ask you another serious question?"
"What are your thoughts on Chuck Woolery?"
"Wait, no, seriously, one more question?"
"Yeah, but this is starting to get annoying."
"...will you marry me?"The poor girl thought he was kidding, and it took him the better part of the afternoon to convince her otherwise, even with the ring. Well, it's not romance, but it fits him fairly well.
I'd recant my proposal to my ex-fiance, but that was just a $1900 mistake ridden with shitty memories that I don't care to dredge up.
I've had trouble climaxing too. Round one usually isn't a problem, but two or three can give a guy some trouble. Don't rush yourself. Don't pressure yourself to climax and if she says she tells you to come tell her you'll come when you're good and ready. Take your time and soon you'll get to the climax threshold, that when you cross you've got not choice but to come. Getting across the threshold can be tough, and I find that clearing my mind and concentrating on nothing but the hottest thing I can usually works. Make your entire world that hottest thing, the girl you're with, and the friction on your cockosaurus.
You do oral right? Are you both NAKED (I'm guessing she's the girl that turns all the lights off and leaves her jacket on while she's blowing you)? Do you kind of like, make out and roll around with each other possibly? This is what you need to do.
You need to play "just the tip." It always works. Just The Tip is an awesome game. It can happen a lot of ways, but for you I suggest this route: When you're chomping on her peach and you're jerking on your post-slobbered on member, grab your shaft and try and slide your head up and down her crevice. She might try and squirm and say "what are you doing," and then you say, "just the tip." If you can somehow maneuver your head in line with the canal, you're fucking golden. There's no way she's gonna back off once you've got that raging erection in there.
I've often been in that situation and met with lines like, "but I just met you," or "you don't have a condom on," but once you get that tip in there, you're always golden. Go right now, give it a shot.
I have literally the exact same relationship as you. I'm only 2 1/2 years into mine though. Mines also an atheist(?wtf?). I'm really not sure if i want to keep this going for another 2 1/2 years. I think you should just be slefish and say "I want to have sex and if you don't then maybe we should see other people." Or something to that effect. The only reason i'm still in this relationship is because she's my best friend otherwise i'd bail. Also oral. I don't know you only live once man, just figure out what's important to you. Wanting to have sex doesn't make you shallow.
Elliot said my breakup must have been due to the sweater curse, an unexplained phenomenon where anyone who gives their significant other a hand-knit sweater gets dumped. The only way to break the curse, Elliot said, was to destroy the sweater.
Can't tell a drinking fountain from a urinal? We've got you covered. Brush up on your drinking fountain enthusiast -- or sipper -- vocabulary and learn to talk and swap sips with the best of them.
The Something Awful Forums are, by far, the greatest and most entertaining community on the internet. From the Comedy Goldmine to Photoshop Phriday, our forums are pretty much the lone island refusing to be engulfed by the sea of stupidity that is the internet. While sections like the Comedy Goldmine and Photoshop Phriday showcase the intentionally hilarious forum creations, we've failed to reveal the coin's flip side. The Great Goon Database is a depository of unintentionally amusing Something Awful Forum quotes demonstrating the darker side of SA. Special thanks to Goon "LittleJoe" for collecting and sorting these gems.