Lowtax: Okay, one last question. How do you spell the word "Internet"?

Cactus Frankie: internet?

Lowtax: Thank you very much! Phase I of the survey is now complete! We may now move on to Phase II!

Lowtax: QUESTION #1: On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate your satisfaction with the Something Awful Forums?

Cactus Frankie: whats 10?

Lowtax: The number after 9.

Cactus Frankie: uhhhhh 0 THAT SITE FUCKEN SUCKED A DILK!!!!

Lowtax: Excellent. QUESTION #2: If you could change one thing on the Something Awful Forums, what would you change?

Cactus Frankie: MY ACCOUNT TO NOT BE BANNED

Lowtax: Thank you. QUESTION #3: On a scale of 50 to 20, how would you rate your satisfaction with the Something Awful Forum customer service?

Cactus Frankie: 0

Lowtax: I'm sorry, that is not an accepted value, please give me a number higher than 50 but lower than 20.

Cactus Frankie: 20

Lowtax: That will do. QUESTION #5: On a scale from A to Z, what do you think happened to question #4?

Cactus Frankie: what?

Lowtax: Thank you very much! We can now move to Phase III.

Lowtax: During this phase, I will be putting an Automated Service Support technician on the line. This is a specially programmed AI (artificially intellectual) subroutine which has been designed to gather all necessary information, congeal it into a report, and then file this report to the Office of Reporting Records in Michigan. Do you have any other questions you'd like to ask before I put the Automated Service Support on?

Cactus Frankie: yeah can u make a note that CACTUS FRANKIE was banned for NO REASON AT ALL AND I WATN MY $20 BACK NOW!!!

Lowtax: I am now connecting the Automated Service Support, please hold.

Lowtax: HELLO CACTOR FRANKIE, I AM THE AUTOMATED SERVICE SUPPORT (ASS) HERE TO REGISTER YOUR COMPLAINTS! DO YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS?

Cactus Frankie: WHAT???

Lowtax: I AM SORRY, I HAVE BEEN PROGRAMMED TO ONLY UNDERSTAND MESSAGES BEGINNING WITH THE WORD "START" AND ENDING WITH THE WORD "END START."

Cactus Frankie: woah what are u tlking about you stupid thing

Lowtax: PLEASE BEGIN ALL MESSAGES WITH THE WORD "START" AND END THEM WITH THE WORD "END START" SUCH AS IN THIS EXAMPLE:

Lowtax: START HELLO WHICH IS THE STALL I MUST ENTER TO OBTAIN MY AWARD? END START

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