I will be studying under the world famous Professor Neil Smith, learning all sorts of important life skills. I don't want you guys to worry, I won't be getting all high and mighty on you. But I most certainly will be more qualified to perform various tricks than most of you will be and that's a fact I'm not willing to be humble about.
Here is a copy of the class syllabus:
Livestock: I was just thinking about the sea being the master of logs
Livestock: if the sea is the master of logs, what does that make beavers?
Moof: beavers are the master of dams
Livestock: but dams are made of logs
Moof: maybe so
Moof: but they are in rivers
Livestock: how can they master something that is made up of something that is mastered by something else
Moof: the sea has no influence
Livestock: yes I know but the logs have to come from somewhere
Livestock: and if the sea masters the logs, how do the rivers get them?
Moof: the master of logs is not omnipotent
Livestock: oh I see
Moof: the sea distributes them
Moof: the sea is the distributor of logs
Livestock: so in the dominion of the sea, the sea masters logs, but outside its dominion it yields mastery to local and regional powers
Moof: yes exactly
Livestock: the life of the log is complicated
Livestock: to be a tree is just the beginning
Livestock: it's only after you forget your roots that you truly see the world
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Cons: causes bad nightmares. I used to have to eat beef until I passed out to have these kind of terrors, but this machine does it for me every time I fall asleep inside it.
Moof and Livestock discuss life, love, human nature, and all the most important issues affecting humanity.