Moof: new hog species found
Livestock: you're kidding me
Livestock: you've got to be kidding me
Livestock: oh my god
Livestock: tell me
Moof: RIO DE JANEIRO, Brazil - A Dutch scientist thinks he has discovered a new species of wild pig nearly twice the size of other pigs in Brazil's Amazon region.
Livestock: is it ornery
Moof: twice as ornery
Livestock: oh jesus
Livestock: i don't think the world is ready for such an ornery beast
Moof: it is not
Moof: we must find other worlds...
Livestock: i am tired of running tom
Moof: then you will die
Livestock: i am tired of watching our gardens devistated by ornery hogs uprooting our carrots
Livestock: i am tired of seeing our mud wallowed in
Livestock: this is not right tom
Livestock: we have to make a stand
Livestock: are you with me
Moof: you will not live
Moof: i am going
Moof: to another world
Livestock: where will you go
Livestock: there are no other worlds tom
Livestock: europa is not ours, stupid!!
Livestock: there is but this single sphere upon which the spark of life has freedom to ignite the fire of mankind
Moof: earth is not ours any more josh
Livestock: it will be if we fight for it
Moof: you can die on this forsaken rock
Livestock: if i am to die
Livestock: then all hogs shall die with me
Moof: you are such a fool
Moof: take this
Moof: *throws katana*
Livestock: then this is goodbye
Moof: goodbye josh
Livestock: goodbye tom
Moof: *blasts off to space*
Simply put, if I had Johnny Manziel’s physical gifts, you better believe I would be there in the Weight Room, getting to bed early, doing whatever I had to do to be the best possible athlete I could be. I wouldn't be posting on social media about sucking titties. I wouldn't even look at a titty, buddy. I'd look at a titty and see two big footballs.
A real friend doesn't move until the middle of August, ensuring temperatures in the 90s and a humidity that turns boxers into moist balls of ruined cotton.
Expendable? You must be joking.
Moof and Livestock discuss life, love, human nature, and all the most important issues affecting humanity.