Moof: new hog species found
Livestock: you're kidding me
Livestock: you've got to be kidding me
Livestock: oh my god
Livestock: tell me
Moof: RIO DE JANEIRO, Brazil - A Dutch scientist thinks he has discovered a new species of wild pig nearly twice the size of other pigs in Brazil's Amazon region.
Livestock: is it ornery
Moof: twice as ornery
Livestock: oh jesus
Livestock: i don't think the world is ready for such an ornery beast
Moof: it is not
Moof: we must find other worlds...
Livestock: i am tired of running tom
Moof: then you will die
Livestock: i am tired of watching our gardens devistated by ornery hogs uprooting our carrots
Livestock: i am tired of seeing our mud wallowed in
Livestock: this is not right tom
Livestock: we have to make a stand
Livestock: are you with me
Moof: you will not live
Moof: i am going
Moof: to another world
Livestock: where will you go
Livestock: there are no other worlds tom
Livestock: europa is not ours, stupid!!
Livestock: there is but this single sphere upon which the spark of life has freedom to ignite the fire of mankind
Moof: earth is not ours any more josh
Livestock: it will be if we fight for it
Moof: you can die on this forsaken rock
Livestock: if i am to die
Livestock: then all hogs shall die with me
Moof: you are such a fool
Moof: take this
Moof: *throws katana*
Livestock: then this is goodbye
Moof: goodbye josh
Livestock: goodbye tom
Moof: *blasts off to space*
Did Louis C.K. jerk off in front of two female comics? And why are these ladies squandering an opportunity to learn from a comedy legend?
Elliot said my breakup must have been due to the sweater curse, an unexplained phenomenon where anyone who gives their significant other a hand-knit sweater gets dumped. The only way to break the curse, Elliot said, was to destroy the sweater.
Moof and Livestock discuss life, love, human nature, and all the most important issues affecting humanity.