Moof: new hog species found
Livestock: you're kidding me
Livestock: you've got to be kidding me
Livestock: oh my god
Livestock: tell me
Moof: RIO DE JANEIRO, Brazil - A Dutch scientist thinks he has discovered a new species of wild pig nearly twice the size of other pigs in Brazil's Amazon region.
Livestock: is it ornery
Moof: twice as ornery
Livestock: oh jesus
Livestock: i don't think the world is ready for such an ornery beast
Moof: it is not
Moof: we must find other worlds...
Livestock: i am tired of running tom
Moof: then you will die
Livestock: i am tired of watching our gardens devistated by ornery hogs uprooting our carrots
Livestock: i am tired of seeing our mud wallowed in
Livestock: this is not right tom
Livestock: we have to make a stand
Livestock: are you with me
Moof: you will not live
Moof: i am going
Moof: to another world
Livestock: where will you go
Livestock: there are no other worlds tom
Livestock: europa is not ours, stupid!!
Livestock: there is but this single sphere upon which the spark of life has freedom to ignite the fire of mankind
Moof: earth is not ours any more josh
Livestock: it will be if we fight for it
Moof: you can die on this forsaken rock
Livestock: if i am to die
Livestock: then all hogs shall die with me
Moof: you are such a fool
Moof: take this
Moof: *throws katana*
Livestock: then this is goodbye
Moof: goodbye josh
Livestock: goodbye tom
Moof: *blasts off to space*
Are you concerned that you may be a character trapped in a Tom Waits song? Be smart and learn the warning signs before it's too late. Also, it's too late. It has always been too late.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Moof and Livestock discuss life, love, human nature, and all the most important issues affecting humanity.