Livestock: tom i want a hat made of metamaterials
Livestock: that cannot be seen
Moof: how will anyone know you are wearing a hat
Moof: how will anyone know you are hatting
Livestock: they won't, which means i can wear it indoors with impunity
Moof: i want a hat made out of space
Livestock: you would probably suffocate or die of exposure or something
Livestock: or your hair would float away
Livestock: because there is no gravity
Moof: argh no that would be awful
Livestock: well i mean there is gravity
Livestock: but not the same kind (space gravity)
Moof: josh i clearly have not thought this through
Moof: hey josh - sweet tats bro
Livestock: oh you mean my boba fett bong tattoo?? yeah thanks
Moof: hey np
Moof: some swell ink
Moof: it's some great work
Livestock: tom we've gotta get a boat!!!
Moof: i know josh i know
Livestock: we're missing out on so many adventures
Moof: argh dont i know it!!
Livestock: if we had a boat we could go to islands and claim them as our own
Livestock: find new continents, etc.
Moof: DONT YOU THINK I KNOW THAT JOSH
Moof: i have wanted a boat for so long...
Livestock: tom we could start a trade route
Livestock: make good money moving wares across the seas
Livestock: all it would take is a boat
Moof: josh lets do it
Livestock: yep you get the boat, i'll name and drive it
Livestock: and captain it as well
Livestock: that will be my burden
Moof: and we split the profits 50/50
Livestock: wait you are coming along
Livestock: i didn't realize that
Moof: i know
Moof: i will just hang out
Moof: in my cabin
Moof: and on deck
Moof: taking care of the ladies
Livestock: tom i might ask you to stay behind
Livestock: while i take care of the boat business
Moof: i have
Moof: to watch over
Moof: my investment
Livestock: tom why must you try to control everything
Moof: why must I???? why must you????
Livestock: i apologize
Livestock: let us place all our anger and hatred on this boat
Livestock: set it aflame
Livestock: and push it out to sea
Moof: set it adrift
TOTAL WRECK - crazy-eyed hound is covered in cobwebs, has a vespiary on back, graffiti on side and savage thirst for boat fuel. Frankly, I'm in over my head. He's in room 115 at Motel 6, yours free. 555-2851
Yes, it's the perfect form for surviving a car crash. But it's also the perfect form for so much more, like surviving the trauma of reading any news headline in 2016.
Moof and Livestock discuss life, love, human nature, and all the most important issues affecting humanity.