To whom it may concern, I would like to propose the following to members of science, academia, and philosophy:
I think the idea has boundless potential and merit, and eagerly await numerous awards. My favorite part is the dog, but I like the lightning very much and feel it is a crucial component of the proposal.
Livestock: can you imagine having to eat your way out of a box factory?
Moof: oh god
Moof: what kind of boxes?
Moof: hey have you seen march of the penguins?
Livestock: why, is it coming through my town?
Moof: not sure it is a documentary about penguins
Livestock: oh, in that case no
Moof: they are playing it at the moving pictures establishment
Moof: it got me thinking
Moof: if wallets were little animals
Moof: and when you were at a restaurant
Moof: and you had to pay the bill
Moof: imagine if you took your wallet out and put it on the table
Moof: and it started saying "wallet wallet wallet wallet"
Moof: because that is what they say
Moof: and then perhaps it started jumping around the table and exploring
Moof: and people were looking over and you were embarrassed because they all had well behaved wallets
Moof: that didn't jump around much especially not as restaurants
Moof: can you imagine
Livestock: no, because I have a brain tumor
Moof: oh I am sorry
Livestock: that has rooted itself in my brain
Livestock: in the part that handles imagination (except for box factory related imaginations, which are controlled by the right side of the brain)
Moof: of course I learned that in psych101
Moof: how much longer do you have?
Livestock: yes, well, I have about 50-60 years if I live an honest life and tell no tall tales
Moof: oh jesus
Moof: I am so sorry
Livestock: thankfully I'm not the kind of person prone to tall tales
Moof: thank god
Perfect Eggs Every Time: Hold an egg in your cupped hands. Put your hands over a fire, squeezing them together gently to crack the egg open. Try not to let any egg liquid or egg shell fall out between your fingers.
Absolve me of my past fines, so that I may checkout again.
You cant go around life being smart in an unconventional way, it could change the world.
Moof and Livestock discuss life, love, human nature, and all the most important issues affecting humanity.