To whom it may concern, I would like to propose the following to members of science, academia, and philosophy:
I think the idea has boundless potential and merit, and eagerly await numerous awards. My favorite part is the dog, but I like the lightning very much and feel it is a crucial component of the proposal.
Livestock: can you imagine having to eat your way out of a box factory?
Moof: oh god
Moof: what kind of boxes?
Moof: hey have you seen march of the penguins?
Livestock: why, is it coming through my town?
Moof: not sure it is a documentary about penguins
Livestock: oh, in that case no
Moof: they are playing it at the moving pictures establishment
Moof: it got me thinking
Moof: if wallets were little animals
Moof: and when you were at a restaurant
Moof: and you had to pay the bill
Moof: imagine if you took your wallet out and put it on the table
Moof: and it started saying "wallet wallet wallet wallet"
Moof: because that is what they say
Moof: and then perhaps it started jumping around the table and exploring
Moof: and people were looking over and you were embarrassed because they all had well behaved wallets
Moof: that didn't jump around much especially not as restaurants
Moof: can you imagine
Livestock: no, because I have a brain tumor
Moof: oh I am sorry
Livestock: that has rooted itself in my brain
Livestock: in the part that handles imagination (except for box factory related imaginations, which are controlled by the right side of the brain)
Moof: of course I learned that in psych101
Moof: how much longer do you have?
Livestock: yes, well, I have about 50-60 years if I live an honest life and tell no tall tales
Moof: oh jesus
Moof: I am so sorry
Livestock: thankfully I'm not the kind of person prone to tall tales
Moof: thank god
Elliot said my breakup must have been due to the sweater curse, an unexplained phenomenon where anyone who gives their significant other a hand-knit sweater gets dumped. The only way to break the curse, Elliot said, was to destroy the sweater.
Can't tell a drinking fountain from a urinal? We've got you covered. Brush up on your drinking fountain enthusiast -- or sipper -- vocabulary and learn to talk and swap sips with the best of them.
Moof and Livestock discuss life, love, human nature, and all the most important issues affecting humanity.