If you have a kid, a very young sibling, or a niece or nephew under the age of about five, you have probably come in contact with the horror that is the children's slum of Youtube. On the surface, everything is wonderful, as there seem to be hundreds of educational videos for kids. Scratch that surface and you will find an unpleasant gutter of Russian and Indian English-language (barely) videos with animations that range from "poor" to "your nightmares come to life." Worse, those videos have millions and millions of views and come up near the top of searches for things like "alphabet" and "shapes" that your miniature human dummy might actually be able to find.
Be worried you are raising a serial killer if your children are watching any of these videos.
What could go wrong with nursery rhyme classics like "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" or "Humpty Dumpty?" Let me answer that question by introducing you to some of your favorite nursery rhyme characters, courtesy of eDewcate's 3D animation team.
Remember "Devil Bear and Dead-Armed Homunculus" from Twinkle Twinkle Little Star?
How about the ant wearing lipstick sucking on its own fist?
Surely everyone remembers the child's slave master character from Bah Bah Black Sheep:
No joking, the song is being sung by a child character in the video and that is his master. Now picture all of these characters in motion while children who sound like they are being held at gunpoint sing versions of famous nursery rhymes with slightly off lyrics. Kids will grow up just fine watching this stuff!
This week, I'll be playing an '80s arcade rom rumored to be a CIA mind-control experiment. Please like and subscribe!
I'm thankful that the internet has a few more weeks of Net Neutrality protection before the inevitable outcome of deregulation comes to pass. I'll see you on Tier Basic, assuming you spring for the Limited Email Plan and your ISP hasn't throttled this domain.
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