You wake up on a yellow and blue plaid couch. A red stain is beside your head. You feel grossed out until you realize it's your blood, then you feel bad for making the rat-nasty couch worse. You put your hand down your pants, both front and back. It looks like your genitalia made it out safe. You look around the small room but find nothing for your eyes to lock onto. No art, no pictures, nothing. Just one big ass television sitting on an empty table. Suddenly, you realize that you are wearing the man's orange shirt. You can hear a radio in another room playing some Black Sabbath song. You're surprised that you can't remember what song it is, so you decide to find out.
You end up at a closed door. You can hear a shower running and steam is being spewed above the door. You knock, but no one answers. You stand still for a minute. It is apparent that you forgot to take your medication this morning as you start pacing back and forth from impatience.
The first time "fast", "decisive", and "efficient" could have been used to describe the Minecraft development team was when they snatched the $2.5 billion dollar check out of Microsoft's sweaty, shaking hand.
Paleo guru and definite non-idiot Luke K. clears the air about some of your favorite pumpkin treats this holiday season. Also he weighs in on the controversy surrounding a paleo wedding cake.
No lifeguard on duty. Maze run at your own risk.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.