Detectives watch solemnly from the pier as a crane lifts a cuckold from a nose.
Yeah, after work I was thinking grab a couple Strohs, play some darts and then head back to the house so my buddy can crap in a toilet, take the crap out of the toilet and shove it into my nose and mouth and then fuck my throat. Then catch up on my DVR'd eps of The League.
This Week on Something Awful...
Advanced Level Sexy Catcalls
Hows about you, me, and five uncomfortable minutes in my basement apartment next to the dusty Christmas tree that's still up from my last visit with my estranged children.
Zagat's Guide to Poor Person Eating
The Upper Kitchen Cabinet Where Your Roommate Keeps His Food: You’ll 'need the footstool' to reach your roommate’s 'fine selection' of 'stale cereal,' but he'll never notice if 'only a little is missing from each box.' Feel less guilty by reminding yourself that Jeff 'acts weird around your girlfriend,' and always 'asks about her.' What a 'creep.'
Awful Movie Awards 2015
Take a look back with us at some of the best and worst awful movie moments of the year!
Pet Disasters!
Pictures of cute animals are taking the Internet by storm! (It's a very destructive storm.)
Convincing People to Buy Mediocre Games, PAINTBALL MAX'D
This ain't your daddy's globe...! .... or is it?!
About This Column
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.
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