We gaze up in equal parts wonder and fear at the giant sphere that has appeared above our city. It contains the dead husks of our aspirations in the form of hilarious nostalgia. Awk-waaaaard!
His eyes black. His body in repose. Staring at an infinite horizon forever. Never dying or even aging.
Remember bees? They are not dying out, their queens had led them to the safety of the sphere. They will be preserved through the coming tumult.
Not what I had in mind when I ordered an Italian gondolier. This is literally just a tiny toy. Needless to say, the Italian businessmen were not impressed and I looked like a damn fool. We lost the pizza pie account and will have to lay off half our factory.
Did you know that you only use 10% of your brain? You may have heard that before. But what if you could use 100%? YOU CAN!
Time to applaud the man who applauds in a loop until the end of time.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.