We gaze up in equal parts wonder and fear at the giant sphere that has appeared above our city. It contains the dead husks of our aspirations in the form of hilarious nostalgia. Awk-waaaaard!
His eyes black. His body in repose. Staring at an infinite horizon forever. Never dying or even aging.
Remember bees? They are not dying out, their queens had led them to the safety of the sphere. They will be preserved through the coming tumult.
The first phase of The Olive Garden's cyber rollout will introduce their Neverending Pneumatic Pasta Tube. This works on the same principal as bank drive-thru deposit tubes, but with unfrozen linguini and spaghetti.
Do you remember the crazy clothes and hair of the 1990s? Do you remember Crystal Pepsi and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? Do you remember where you hid the box your mother gave you?
It's still okay to like Ben Stiller, guys.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.