Advanced GameplayWithout doubt this is the most popular game in prison. Remember when you used to play tag all afternoon with friends outside of the school? Well, it's a lot like that except you're not allowed to run or have shoelaces. There are a few other differences, but it's basically the same.
Hurt as many people as possible.
1. Do not look anyone in the eyes
2. Do not look at anyone
3. If you are caught looking at someone you are tagged "IT"
4. You cannot tag someone on your own team
Special Tip: Staring at a wall is the most effective way to avoid an attack (unless the wall is a one way mirror and your enemy is on the other side.)
Uh oh, looks like someone is IT
Expert Tag Technique
Making a Shiv
Using a shiv is like extending your reach by three inches. It also allows you to rip holes into the side of enemies. If you follow this easy guide, you'll rule the courtyard (for the hour you are allowed out of your maximum security cell each day.)
Step 1: Acquire a human arm (Image 8)
Step 2: Carve excess flesh and bone to a point
Step 3 (Optional): Boil toilet bowl stew or flush arm carvings down drain
Step 4: Enjoy (Image 9)
I hope you learned a lot in this chapter of The Dangerous Book for Convicts. Good luck in your first few weeks of Prison Tag, and remember to watch your back!
Maria Mitchell is shown holding a telescope to each eye, using them to ogle passing hunks on the street below. OOOGA! Her tongue rolls out like a firehose, her eyes comically bulging through the ends of the telescopes.
The Internet experience of 2014 has been condensed into a single article for your convenience.
Youtube user HolkHogan420 has been systematically exposing all of the Illuminati's plans.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.