Wearing that XL shirt to the pool did not hide my shame in the manner I had intended Tan

Well if you're such a smart dermatologist then how does the sun make plants grow if it gives us cancer Tan

Winning that Final Fantasy VII cosplay contest as Cloud was rewarding at the time but it might not have been a good idea the day before my brother's wedding Tan

While I told everyone that I went to a music festival, I actually passed out from dehydration waiting for the new amiibo and woke up in the emergency room like this Tan

What I do on the weekends is my own god damn business and has nothing to do with HR Tan

Well, I'm not actually tan, just sort of blushing from the lack of diversity in this list Tan

Wanted to get tan but could only afford a vacation to Lake Erie Tan

Walter White in a hazmat suit is still my go-to costume and I'm just sort of pretending as though Breaking Bad didn't end in 2013 Tan

– Ian "Salmon Season" Golding (@iggolding)

More Front Page News

This Week on Something Awful...

Copyright ©2016 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.